emotional last day at home

emotional. excitement. fear. trepidation. optimism. love. sadness. pride. thankfulness. curiosity.

on this, my last full day at home before heading off to college tomorrow morning, i can't imagine an emotion which is not touching my heart.

i've been talking about my feelings of being away at college in the past several blog entries, and now the time has come.

so, as my family often does to commemorate events such as this, threw a party. it was just an intimate little thing with about 20 close family friends.

today was the last time until probably thanksgiving or christmas i was able see my best friend, Shawna. she has been amazing friend to me for the past four years. in high school, she was the rudder who straightened my ship. she says the same of me. there are times i am sure i owe my sanity (for better or for worse!) to her. she's about to head off to her own journey; hers taking her to the university of washington in seattle.

i've been told that as high school friends move on, they will lose contact. i believe that we will adopt other priorities in school and life, but i am as committed as i can be to stay in touch with Shawna. i have labeled her as my kindred spirit; and you just can't lose contact with that.

it meant so much to me to see these people who came to share my last day in oregon (at least for the school year). i loved seeing Simon from across the street; our very close family friends col. and mrs. Chapman; McKenzie, Thomas, Rick, Tami, Heidi and Irene from high school.

it was certainly wonderful and fitting that all of them were there, people who have been such a very important part of my life. I feel honored to be included in theirs as well.

i've spent the past month attempting to relate to my family how much they mean to me. i think i've made my points clear. my sister, Jessica, told me the other day: "yes, Kasey, i know, i know and i know!" she then smiled and hugged me so that she could whisper in my ear that she can't even imagine what it will be like with me here.

that kind of thing has comforted me, and all of them have really taken that sort of moment to convey their feelings.

i've left messages for each of them which i will e-mail to them either monday night or tuesday morning. i only hope they understand the words which i try to convey. (i've left the recorded message to my parents with Brandon, who will give it to them upon their return tuesday night).

so, i'm off in the morning. one more goodbye as Brandon, Jessica, Angela and Keith take time away from getting ready for school, and we're on the road. my parents will start the trip in their suv, while i have the privilege and honor to be accompanied by my youngest sister, Monika, as i drive my jetta. we're headed to san francisco where we'll all stay with my brother and his fiance monday night, then move me into the dorm on tuesday.

i fear that watching mom, dad and Monika drive away will be the saddest sight i've ever experienced.

but then again, that's just one emotion which is rushing through my heart.

~ Kassandra