well, what a whirlwind month this has been. it seems as if there is so much to tell.
parents' weekend
parents' weekend at school was slated for the weekend of february 25-27, with most events scheduled for saturday the 26th. of course, this coincides with my birthday, which falls on the 27th.
Julie's parents were coming up from oxnard and everyone I know had at least one family member showing up. unfortunately, my mom and dad told me it would not be possible for them to come. i couldn't blame them – if there was any way possible, they would have been there.
in lieu of this, i decided to invite my oldest brother and future sister-in-law, who live in san francisco. at least i could take them around campus and show them about my life here at school. Brian and Carla have been supportive of me and I’ve benefited from being near them as i go through my freshman year in college. we decided they would meet me at my dorm at about 8:30 saturday morning, start with a tour, and then do a video conference with my parents and other siblings back home in portland.
i got up saturday morning and something seemed off. just a little weird. i dismissed it and headed out for my 3.2-mile morning run, which i do four times a week. Julie was up and talking on the phone with her parents when i left.
i made my way around my little course and park to the parking lot where i passed my car. Julie was out near it and urged me to walk with her back inside.
i stopped. froze is more like it. i saw the impossible, and it took my breathe away.
in front of my dorm, milling around and smiling, were my dad, mom, youngest brother Keith and two youngest sisters, Angela and Monika. they had surprised and shocked me. they'd kept this visit a secret, which is not easy to do in my family the size of mine. i would find out later that they had someone on the inside. Julie had not been on the phone with her parents; she had been on the phone with mine!
as our conversations transpired, i was informed that there was never any doubt my parents would show up; just a question as to how many of and which of my siblings would accompany them. they basically pulled a fast one on me!
we went to my room and talked for a while and caught up. it was Keith and Angela's first time to meet Julie so they enjoyed talking to her. Brian and Carla showed up right on time. i had seven visitors for parents' weekend and i was beaming. Brandon, Jessica and Kevin each had conflicts in their schedules and were unable to come. apparently the plan was for my parents, Keith, Angela and Monika was to drive to san francisco after they got of work on friday and stay the night with Brian and Carla, then meet me after my run.
i played tour guide most of the day; showing them where all my classes were, introducing them to people and basically sharing my college life with them. we joined Julie and her parents for dinner which was really nice. i absolutely loved having them there.
my birthday was sunday so we spent most of the day together before they were to leave at around four or five in the afternoon for the drive back to portland. we hung out in the morning then had a nice celebration lunch for my birthday.
i had the best gift for which i could have asked for this birthday, but there was one more surprise. all my family pitched in for a present which shocked and astounded me. it was a 32” lcd flat screen television. that was just about the only thing Julie and i did not have in our dorm room (we've been using a 13-inch emerson hand-me-down!). it's perfect. i love my family immensely. i could not have asked for more that weekend.
that guy
it was just about a month ago when Julie and i decided we would go out to a club to listen to some music. we were talking about it in the lobby of our dorm when a couple guys we had met a couple times previously overheard and asked it they could tag along. why not; the more the merrier. so we all went and had a pretty great time.
the four of us hung out all night then one of the guys and i ended up staying up the rest of the night getting to know each other better. he's really interesting and, unlike some guys, is very good at listening once he asks a question. we began seeing each other right after that.
now, to be honest, i don't have the best track record with relationships. it's just really a matter of not finding someone compatible. the guy and i always seem to be going in different directions. while i'm not necessarily looking for anything long-term, i know that it's just about at that time when that kind of things happens. i don't know what's going to happen in the weeks and months ahead, but i'm enjoying being with him right now. he's very considerate to my schedule and goals, which is extremely important to me.
i've met a couple of guys here and there, and i've mentioned them by name to people and on websites. those potential relationships didn't work out. this time, i decided to give him a nickname. thus, i am referring to him as That Guy.
he even came by and met my parents during their visit during parents' weekend, and i had the chance to meet his father.
but alas … that's another blog!
~ Kassandra
About Me
- Kassandra
- I'm Kassandra an Oregon girl at heart. Attorney at Law. My parents are both U.S. army veterans and continue to serve in the military in other capacities. I have four brothers (two older, two younger) and three sisters (all younger). I love each of them for all of their individualities and their commitments to the examples set by our parents. Aside from my family, I have several friends who mean a great deal to me. Notable are my best friend from high school and my best friend from college, I'm strong in analytical thinking. I am able to process things from several viewpoints simultaneously. I'm open and honest. Note: I'm interested in receiving feedback on this blog, but I request that the comments pertain to the actual blog itself, and I do not approve anonymous comments.
Showing posts with label sister. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sister. Show all posts
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
back in the swing of things
well, i've been busy lately. i was trying to come up with a better word for it, but "busy" seems to be the best word to describe it.
following christmas break, i returned back to school for the beginning of my second semester. i made it a point to become immersed in this semesters classes as i had in in the fall. my classes are again challenging, but i have no doubt that i can do just as well.
Julie and i continue to have fun in our dorm room and there have been numerous nights of little potlucks with our neighbors. these are always a lot of fun, since it's like a mini party on our floor. in fact, the opponents of our lingerie flag football game during last semester's secret snowflake came up (clothed) and hung out one night. that was a huge amount of fun.
of the three weekends since the semester started, i've spent two of them at Brian and Carla's apartment, including this weekend when they weren't there. that's no issue since i have my own room there so i can get away from school if i need to.
it's been a fun weekend of a lot of solitude and a couple of get togethers at neighbors, whom i've previously met. it's not like they were strangers, so it was nice getting to know them a little better.
the past weekend, i met someone and became involved for what i thought would be a solid time. as it turns out, he ended up being like a lot like previous guys i've met. i understand wanting to spend time together; however, i don't tolerate ultimatums when it comes to disregarding my studies to spend time with him. that is unacceptable and i quickly told him goodbye.
i still connect with my family as often, and even more so than i did the previous term. things are going well back at home, and speaking via any method with them never fails to bring a smile to my face.
Dad
my dad is doing exceptionally well after his angioplasty before christmas. in fact, he's doing so well that he returned to work about a week and a half ago. they say he's pretty much back to normal, and he says he's no longer going stir crazy at home. i absolutely love him and i know he's best in his element.
Aubrey
readers of this blog may remember my trip to new mexico last summer, and my cousin Aubrey. she e-mails me at least once a week and we talk on the phone a couple times a month. in september she began her tutoring to deal with dyslexia. she just e-mailed me a copy of her grades for the first half-year of school. one A, five B's and a C. that's a 3.00 average ... up about 1.50 points from before the dyslexia diagnosis. i knew she had it in her!
~ Kassandra
following christmas break, i returned back to school for the beginning of my second semester. i made it a point to become immersed in this semesters classes as i had in in the fall. my classes are again challenging, but i have no doubt that i can do just as well.
Julie and i continue to have fun in our dorm room and there have been numerous nights of little potlucks with our neighbors. these are always a lot of fun, since it's like a mini party on our floor. in fact, the opponents of our lingerie flag football game during last semester's secret snowflake came up (clothed) and hung out one night. that was a huge amount of fun.
of the three weekends since the semester started, i've spent two of them at Brian and Carla's apartment, including this weekend when they weren't there. that's no issue since i have my own room there so i can get away from school if i need to.
it's been a fun weekend of a lot of solitude and a couple of get togethers at neighbors, whom i've previously met. it's not like they were strangers, so it was nice getting to know them a little better.
the past weekend, i met someone and became involved for what i thought would be a solid time. as it turns out, he ended up being like a lot like previous guys i've met. i understand wanting to spend time together; however, i don't tolerate ultimatums when it comes to disregarding my studies to spend time with him. that is unacceptable and i quickly told him goodbye.
i still connect with my family as often, and even more so than i did the previous term. things are going well back at home, and speaking via any method with them never fails to bring a smile to my face.
Dad
my dad is doing exceptionally well after his angioplasty before christmas. in fact, he's doing so well that he returned to work about a week and a half ago. they say he's pretty much back to normal, and he says he's no longer going stir crazy at home. i absolutely love him and i know he's best in his element.
Aubrey
readers of this blog may remember my trip to new mexico last summer, and my cousin Aubrey. she e-mails me at least once a week and we talk on the phone a couple times a month. in september she began her tutoring to deal with dyslexia. she just e-mailed me a copy of her grades for the first half-year of school. one A, five B's and a C. that's a 3.00 average ... up about 1.50 points from before the dyslexia diagnosis. i knew she had it in her!
~ Kassandra
Saturday, January 1, 2011
an unexpected holiday
as i had planned, i returned home for the holidays. after my last final on december 9, i hung around for a friday night outing with my dorm mate before spending the weekend at my brother's in san francisco. i made the drive home to portland.
first week
i arrived just in time to get some dinner on tuesday the 12th. as with my thanksgiving trip, there was a lot of talking and catching up. pretty much all of them asked how i felt about the finals from my first semester at stanford.
i had a chance to go shopping with my sisters. then i went shopping with a couple of my brothers. then i went shopping with my mama. then i went shopping with my best friend from high school, Shawna. fortunately, i didn't break the bank!
there are 10 members of my immediate family; 11 if you include my soon-to-be sister-in-law, Carla. we all would love to have the resources to buy for everyone in the family, but that's just not possible. a few years ago, my parents adopted a system where we would each draw a name ... well, not one name, but three! now, a few of us cheat and get everyone else a little something, and my parents still buy for each of us kids.
i drew my mama, Angela and Brandon. in turn, Jessica, Brandon and Carla drew me. that's a diverse group, and i received a diverse collection of gifts. not that i would advocate playing favorites, but i had almost wished to draw Monika's name, though i did not.
that was okay since we celebrated her third birthday on december 19. i was able to be there with her and present her with something i really think she can use and enjoy.
our scare
the day after Monika's birthday, on the afternoon of monday the 20th, my dad was in his office at work talking with a clerk when he began having chest pains after a little prodding, his boss took him to the hospital. it appeared he was having a heart attack, but was conscious and trying to talk to the doctors himself. they stabilized him as best they could, did x-rays and blood tests and so forth. according to what i was told later, he had a minor blockage in one of the arteries heading into his heart. they originally thought he was having a grade-4 or grade-5 heart attack, but it was downgraded just past grade-5. they performed minor surgery that night to repair the blockage and he's doing fine. they also determined that the other arteries were in good shape.
my mom wasn't home when it happened, and Keith answered the phone and gave it to me. i was shocked, but tried to maintain my composure. we tried calling my mom's cell, but she had it off because the charge was down. i had Keith keep trying to call her, while Brandon, took the others to the hospital in his truck. i went to the base, talked to the clerk who was with my dad and grabbed my dad's laptop and a couple of other things before heading to the hospital. i knew there was nothing i could do until he was out of triage. i got to the hospital about a half an hour after my siblings did. Keith was still trying to get in touch with my mom, and Brandon and i went to try and get some information from the doctors.
when my mom was finally contacted and made it to the hospital, there wasn't much information available, but we updated her as best we could. she was in a panic and wasn't sure what she wanted to do, so we had my three younger sisters sit down and just be there with her. Brandon and i started making phone calls to extended family and so forth.
Brian flew up tuesday and it was very comforting to have him there. he and Carla had planned to come up friday morning for christmas, so he was just a few days early. Carla arrived friday morning, as planned.
my dad is in very good physical shape and i wouldn't necessarily consider his diet to be over susceptible to heart problems. be that as it may, the procedure was successful and he was discharged from the hospital three days later.
a normal christmas
with all that happened, we had two objectives. the first was to make my dad as comfortable at home as we could. basically, we made sure a couple people were home with him at all times, preparing the right foods and helping him with this or that. my mom spent a lot of time with him, and each of us did our own little bit to help out and spend time with him.
one of the cutest things i saw was when i went into mom and dad's bedroom, he was laying there with some jazz on in the background. in one hand he was reading his book, and his other was laying on top of my cat, Nikki, who was laying next to him. he told me my cat came in and set herself down next to him. i had to smile wide; Nikki has a knack of going to the person who needs her most. she just seems to be smart like that.
the second objective was to make christmas as normal as possible. this was going to take some doing, but we all were confident we could still make it a special day. when i say we, i mean Brian, Carla and i.
it actually went very well. my dad was able to sit in his chair christmas morning while we all exchanged gifts, and later on for dinner, which we all adapted to match that which my dad was allowed to eat on the day.
there were a lot of laughs, smiles and many tears. the tears were of happiness and joy, and also that of a renewed spirit. i was very happy to see something which could have been mellow and bland, turn into something so special. i would even venture to say that it was one of our best as a family.
in a new light
following my dad's medical issue, Brandon and Angi became a little distant, Kevin wasn't around too much but still, showed his support, Monika was very concerned about her daddy, and Jessi was hit very hard. Brian and i tried to reassure the others as best we could, and he was eventually able to calm Jessi down. Brandon and Angi came on board with supporting dad when he arrived home.
the biggest surprise to me in all this was my 13-year-old brother, Keith. this baseball-playing musical drummer very much stepped up to the plate. he told me later about some nice conversations with my dad, telling him he loved him and wanted him to be around for a long time.
instead of walking around in a daze or showing anger, he approached his oldest sister to get some facts "you're a genius and i know you've already looked up all this stuff," he said. he was correct. we sat down, went online and found some medical charts. i explained to him about the blockage in our dad'a artery and went through my most informative version of what is involved in an angioplasty. he asked questions and understood.
Keith was there with me all week. he wanted to be as helpful and mature as he could be. if that was his goal, then he not only reached it, but surpassed it greatly. i think my youngest brother grew a lot over the past two weeks. i now see him in a new light.
a little work
with the holidays and my dad's situation, the family's distributorship business (the one we entered into in july) was left kind of fending for themselves. my mama wanted to stay at home with my dad so it was decided that i would go in and fill in for her in her role as owner/general manager for a few days (i have a small stake as a minor owner).
we essentially were just tying up some loose ends, invoicing and paying some invoices. i had to deal with a couple minor problems in the fashion and spirit i believe my mama would.
we were open december 27-30, and on the last day, we left Carla with my dad while everyone else joined in for a day of inventory. we'd never done this before, so it took a little getting used to but, all in all, things went very well.
new year's night out
another plan was that my little group from high school would get together for new year's eve. true to tradition, the six of us found out way to four parties (the first two were kind of lame). we rung in the new year at the third, with champagne and kisses from a couple guys i'd never met. no -- it wasn't that kind of thing -- just a closest person thing. really, it was funny more than anything else.
about a quarter after midnight, we left that party and went to the fourth. usually, these parties tend to die down after midnight, but this really seemed to be the place to be. i recognized a lot of people from high school, but mostly in grades higher than me. it was nice to get reacquainted with them, if even for just a night. i ended up hanging out with a couple of guys who were seniors when i was a freshman (not sure where the rest of my group had gone!).
the three of us had a great time and all i'll say is that we rang in the year just right.
so it's 2011 ... this should be an interesting year
~ Kassandra
Sunday, November 28, 2010
a wonderful visit
it's been a long time since i can single out one particular week as an example of what makes me the person i feel i am.
i am a very driven and determined individual, perhaps even to a fault at times. i have goals in college and in life which i've repeatedly and proudly told others are my primal focus in life. i'm talking about my future and those things which i want to attain in my professional life. with focus, i know there's nothing i can't accomplish. i feel as if i have all the tools to reach these things; genetic intelligence, determination, and the personal support of those closest to me. to simplify, i will not let anything derail my plans.
of all those tools, one in particular is pushing me and is at the front of my mind right now.
other than my oldest brother, Brian, the last i'd seen my parents and siblings had been the second week of september when i said goodbye to Angela, Jessica, Keith, Brandon and Kevin at our house in milwaukie, oregon – then shared endless hugs with my baby sister, Monika, and my parents right before they drove away from leaving me at stanford the following day.
my relationship with my dorm mate has been an incredible one. we share many things in common and have gotten along incredibly well. Julie and i have formed this little foursome with our neighbors across the hall which has served as a wonderful foundation as i began my freshman year.
but the obvious lingering absence from my life has been my family. i probably seem to show more affection for my sisters than brothers, but i feel as much love for each of them as any other. i have a special connection with each of them. i feel fortunate to find a common denominator with each. this does not even mention my parents who have been everything for which i could have hoped. through successes and tragedies, my parents have been the rocks to which i can cling. they've allowed me to grow without letting that growth get out of hand.
my mama will always be my biggest supporter. i truly don't know how she juggles a husband, eight kids, service to her country and overseeing a business into which we recently became partners. one day i may ask her that … if i ever think she can find time to respond to that question. actually, i know she would always make time for the inquiry. she's just amazing like that.
my father told me something as he saw me off at stanford on that september 14th morning which took me aback. i had no response to it then, and i'm still not so sure what my response would be if i had to come up with one. when it came our turn to say goodbye to each other that morning, i said some things thanking him for his love, patience, instruction, lessons and everything else which has made me feel confident in my life. in response, he said the following: “thank you, Kassandra, for truly teaching me how to be a father.” i am as speechless today as i was in the two-and-a-half months since he said that.
i can only assume that after having two sons, he had to learn a few things when it came to having a daughter. he learned them in abundance; and it's a good thing since he would have three more of them!
thanksgiving break from school was this past week and the plan always has been for me to drive up from school and spend the week at home. true to plan, i made the trip north for the holiday (refer to previous blog). i knew they would all have their lives and priorities and, in a way, it was really interesting to see that from outside of the immediate situation.
i spent a lot of time with my sisters and youngest brothers. Brandon was busy with search and rescue events (including serving meals to abandoned children), but we had a nice portion of the day on friday where we were able to really catch up. he's a senior this year and pondering college or entry into the county's firefighter training program following graduation. i basically told him two things. the first that it is early and he's got some time to decide, but to apply to those colleges in which he might be interested; no matter what, to keep his options open. the second was to ask his big sister (he's 14 inches taller and nearly 100 pounds heavier!) for any advice at any time, and that she'd be there for him whenever.
Angela is really focusing on writing and tae kwon do; two things which she really enjoys. she's also been a tremendously wonderful surrogate mother to my cat, Nikki. i couldn't have made a better choice. Keith informed me that he decided not to play basketball at school so that he is able to be at his best for when baseball season comes around. he continues to collaborate with Jessica on their shared love for music, and continues to perfect his skills on the guitar.
Kevin, my second-oldest brother lives on his own and was somewhat in and out of the house during the week. he's actually doing quite well with small remodel jobs such as bathrooms and kitchens. it can't be easy with the economy the way it is.
Monika, almost like a daughter to me, is so precious. i had begun teaching her to read about a year and a half ago, and she made it a point to show me the progress she's making under the tutelage of Jessica and Angela, reading the entire Book of Mark from the New Testament to me the day after i got home, and she knew what it said. i'm very impressed with her comprehension.
i've always felt that my sweet sister, Jessica, is the strength of all of us. i know that when there have been times when i've needed to tap into some of that, and she's never failed to be there for me, or her other siblings for that matter. i had a lot of time to talk to Jessi about how things were going. with me gone, she's pretty much running the household when my parents aren't there and she admitted that it's a bit daunting. all i could do is reassure her that everything seemed to be going smoothly and that our parents trust her judgment as much, if not more than they trusted mine. she's also reinvested in writing her own compositions and is a major force in her high school's band, serving her second year as first piano. i'm so proud of her.
my parents are solid. i've mentioned them before here, and i was able to have some long discussions with each of them. it was really a give-and-take, as they opened up about what's going on with the new business, my dad's national guard base, my mom's reserve duties and the family. i opened up to them with the things which are of concern to me. we had one very long and comprehensive conversation which really made me feel good about their confidence in me. i knew of that confidence, but it's always nice to be reminded of it from them.
i would be remiss if i failed to mention seeing my best friends from high school on wednesday night. it all started with Shawna when we met for dinner. we then went to a club to hang out, and were joined by Ted, Lori and a few others. It was like nothing had changed, but that we were older and more mature. forget that we didn't get home until about three in the morning; it was these connections that i had hoped to maintain on this trip. i also had a chance to do some shopping with Shawna on friday. When it comes to shopping with her, let's just say we're very good at that!
while i've missed everyone, i've not been lonely the first months at school. however, this was a trip home i really needed to make. i think in a way it was therapeutic for me. i feel as if i keep proving to myself that i can do all this. there's never been much doubt; this serves more as a confirmation than anything else.
i learned a lot this trip, and i don't know that it could have been any better. it was relaxing, comfortable and exactly what i needed.
and to think, i'll be back there in just a couple of weeks.
~ Kassandra
ps: for those who read my last blog; dad has my car purring like a kitten!
i am a very driven and determined individual, perhaps even to a fault at times. i have goals in college and in life which i've repeatedly and proudly told others are my primal focus in life. i'm talking about my future and those things which i want to attain in my professional life. with focus, i know there's nothing i can't accomplish. i feel as if i have all the tools to reach these things; genetic intelligence, determination, and the personal support of those closest to me. to simplify, i will not let anything derail my plans.
of all those tools, one in particular is pushing me and is at the front of my mind right now.
other than my oldest brother, Brian, the last i'd seen my parents and siblings had been the second week of september when i said goodbye to Angela, Jessica, Keith, Brandon and Kevin at our house in milwaukie, oregon – then shared endless hugs with my baby sister, Monika, and my parents right before they drove away from leaving me at stanford the following day.
my relationship with my dorm mate has been an incredible one. we share many things in common and have gotten along incredibly well. Julie and i have formed this little foursome with our neighbors across the hall which has served as a wonderful foundation as i began my freshman year.
but the obvious lingering absence from my life has been my family. i probably seem to show more affection for my sisters than brothers, but i feel as much love for each of them as any other. i have a special connection with each of them. i feel fortunate to find a common denominator with each. this does not even mention my parents who have been everything for which i could have hoped. through successes and tragedies, my parents have been the rocks to which i can cling. they've allowed me to grow without letting that growth get out of hand.
my mama will always be my biggest supporter. i truly don't know how she juggles a husband, eight kids, service to her country and overseeing a business into which we recently became partners. one day i may ask her that … if i ever think she can find time to respond to that question. actually, i know she would always make time for the inquiry. she's just amazing like that.
my father told me something as he saw me off at stanford on that september 14th morning which took me aback. i had no response to it then, and i'm still not so sure what my response would be if i had to come up with one. when it came our turn to say goodbye to each other that morning, i said some things thanking him for his love, patience, instruction, lessons and everything else which has made me feel confident in my life. in response, he said the following: “thank you, Kassandra, for truly teaching me how to be a father.” i am as speechless today as i was in the two-and-a-half months since he said that.
i can only assume that after having two sons, he had to learn a few things when it came to having a daughter. he learned them in abundance; and it's a good thing since he would have three more of them!
thanksgiving break from school was this past week and the plan always has been for me to drive up from school and spend the week at home. true to plan, i made the trip north for the holiday (refer to previous blog). i knew they would all have their lives and priorities and, in a way, it was really interesting to see that from outside of the immediate situation.
i spent a lot of time with my sisters and youngest brothers. Brandon was busy with search and rescue events (including serving meals to abandoned children), but we had a nice portion of the day on friday where we were able to really catch up. he's a senior this year and pondering college or entry into the county's firefighter training program following graduation. i basically told him two things. the first that it is early and he's got some time to decide, but to apply to those colleges in which he might be interested; no matter what, to keep his options open. the second was to ask his big sister (he's 14 inches taller and nearly 100 pounds heavier!) for any advice at any time, and that she'd be there for him whenever.
Angela is really focusing on writing and tae kwon do; two things which she really enjoys. she's also been a tremendously wonderful surrogate mother to my cat, Nikki. i couldn't have made a better choice. Keith informed me that he decided not to play basketball at school so that he is able to be at his best for when baseball season comes around. he continues to collaborate with Jessica on their shared love for music, and continues to perfect his skills on the guitar.
Kevin, my second-oldest brother lives on his own and was somewhat in and out of the house during the week. he's actually doing quite well with small remodel jobs such as bathrooms and kitchens. it can't be easy with the economy the way it is.
Monika, almost like a daughter to me, is so precious. i had begun teaching her to read about a year and a half ago, and she made it a point to show me the progress she's making under the tutelage of Jessica and Angela, reading the entire Book of Mark from the New Testament to me the day after i got home, and she knew what it said. i'm very impressed with her comprehension.
i've always felt that my sweet sister, Jessica, is the strength of all of us. i know that when there have been times when i've needed to tap into some of that, and she's never failed to be there for me, or her other siblings for that matter. i had a lot of time to talk to Jessi about how things were going. with me gone, she's pretty much running the household when my parents aren't there and she admitted that it's a bit daunting. all i could do is reassure her that everything seemed to be going smoothly and that our parents trust her judgment as much, if not more than they trusted mine. she's also reinvested in writing her own compositions and is a major force in her high school's band, serving her second year as first piano. i'm so proud of her.
my parents are solid. i've mentioned them before here, and i was able to have some long discussions with each of them. it was really a give-and-take, as they opened up about what's going on with the new business, my dad's national guard base, my mom's reserve duties and the family. i opened up to them with the things which are of concern to me. we had one very long and comprehensive conversation which really made me feel good about their confidence in me. i knew of that confidence, but it's always nice to be reminded of it from them.
i would be remiss if i failed to mention seeing my best friends from high school on wednesday night. it all started with Shawna when we met for dinner. we then went to a club to hang out, and were joined by Ted, Lori and a few others. It was like nothing had changed, but that we were older and more mature. forget that we didn't get home until about three in the morning; it was these connections that i had hoped to maintain on this trip. i also had a chance to do some shopping with Shawna on friday. When it comes to shopping with her, let's just say we're very good at that!
while i've missed everyone, i've not been lonely the first months at school. however, this was a trip home i really needed to make. i think in a way it was therapeutic for me. i feel as if i keep proving to myself that i can do all this. there's never been much doubt; this serves more as a confirmation than anything else.
i learned a lot this trip, and i don't know that it could have been any better. it was relaxing, comfortable and exactly what i needed.
and to think, i'll be back there in just a couple of weeks.
~ Kassandra
ps: for those who read my last blog; dad has my car purring like a kitten!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
arriving home for thanksgiving
anyone who has known me or had read this blog during the summer knows that being separated from my family has been the hardest part of my adjustment to college. sure, the classes have been a bit of a challenge. getting to know my dorm mate has been a concern. adjusting to overall life on my own has been interesting.
but nothing has been more difficult than being apart from my parents, my younger brothers and those three individually incredible girls i am privileged to call my sisters. as I’ve stated in previous entries, all of them are extremely special to me.
for the first time in over two months, i am able to spend time with those whom i love most.
I came home for thanksgiving break today (drove all the way by myself!) and became instantly teary eyed when i saw and hugged each one of them. that is, when they finally got home from a church function! imagine this: as i pulled into the driveway; no cars. not my dad's truck; not my mom's suv; not even Brandon's truck. i know they went to church in the morning, but i pulled up at a 10 minutes after four!
i used my old keys and got into the house, met a kindly gaze from our confused family dog, Jasper (looked like he thought i had made a wrong turn somewhere!) and delivered my bag and purse to my room. as i sat on the bed, i didn't know whether to smile or cry … so i did a little of both! i then felt a small and subtle sensory impact on my bed. it was getting closer, and closer.
already knowing the source of this, i merely looked down to see my Nikki sniffing to make sure her mama was really home. i confirmed any doubt by rubbing her behind her little triangle ears as I’ve done so many times. she began to purr and it felt as if i'd never been gone.
i decided not to call them since they surely knew they weren't already home, so i texted Jessica cryptically and asked if anyone was home. when she messaged back telling me they were at a church bazaar, i asked what time they were going to be done, and she informed me they would be leaving shortly because mom wanted to get started on dinner. in the meantime, i went online and checked a few things.
i was about to post a blog comment on the portland trail blazers website when i heard two vehicles pull into the driveway. i heard running footsteps and almost immediately the door was opening; i went out of my room and to the top of the stairs. Jessi, along with the angelic Monika were making their way to the top. i knelt down and hugged them both. too long apart. Angi and Keith weren't far behind, then my mom and dad, calmly waking in the door.
the greetings were amazing and made me feel as if i'd been gone for much, much longer than the nearly 10 weeks it actually has been. i was home, and for the moment, that's all that mattered. i was bombarded with a million questions and, upon recognizing this, Angi told me to pace myself because i had only a week to update them all!
Monika, my nearly three-year-old sister, has been of great concern to me while i'm away. i swear she's grown four inches since i saw her driving away with my parents as they dropped me off at school in the second week of september. i can't believe all that has seemed to happen, her happiness and her challenges. her eyes were bright as she told me all of it!
after putting some things away, my mom found me with a huge hug and an actual “welcome home, Kassandra.” it was greatly surreal how at the same time i was the little girl of which i strive to keep a hold, but also in a strange sense, a peer to her. an adult.
my dad came up from the basement and caught my eye. with a partial smile, he asked if everything was going well. i nodded in the affirmative. then, characteristically, he asked how my car was doing. he's never had any issue of tell me how he feels, but it was as if he needed to cover these initial topics with his first-born daughter.
“the car can wait a while,” i told him while going to put my arms around him. “i love you daddy. i missed you.” he whispered that he missed me too and, all of the sudden, i was daddy's little girl in his arms which is where i've always felt the most secure.
i was informed that Brandon, my younger brother by a year, was at a search and rescue function and would be home for dinner. it was more hugs, tears, smiles and laughs when he walked in the door.
they've had so many questions for me, but I’ve got just as many for each of them. i'm glad we have a full week to get reacquainted. a week. i truly can't believe it's so long – and so short.
it should also give my dad time to give my jetta a complete examination!
~ Kassandra
but nothing has been more difficult than being apart from my parents, my younger brothers and those three individually incredible girls i am privileged to call my sisters. as I’ve stated in previous entries, all of them are extremely special to me.
for the first time in over two months, i am able to spend time with those whom i love most.
I came home for thanksgiving break today (drove all the way by myself!) and became instantly teary eyed when i saw and hugged each one of them. that is, when they finally got home from a church function! imagine this: as i pulled into the driveway; no cars. not my dad's truck; not my mom's suv; not even Brandon's truck. i know they went to church in the morning, but i pulled up at a 10 minutes after four!
i used my old keys and got into the house, met a kindly gaze from our confused family dog, Jasper (looked like he thought i had made a wrong turn somewhere!) and delivered my bag and purse to my room. as i sat on the bed, i didn't know whether to smile or cry … so i did a little of both! i then felt a small and subtle sensory impact on my bed. it was getting closer, and closer.
already knowing the source of this, i merely looked down to see my Nikki sniffing to make sure her mama was really home. i confirmed any doubt by rubbing her behind her little triangle ears as I’ve done so many times. she began to purr and it felt as if i'd never been gone.
i decided not to call them since they surely knew they weren't already home, so i texted Jessica cryptically and asked if anyone was home. when she messaged back telling me they were at a church bazaar, i asked what time they were going to be done, and she informed me they would be leaving shortly because mom wanted to get started on dinner. in the meantime, i went online and checked a few things.
i was about to post a blog comment on the portland trail blazers website when i heard two vehicles pull into the driveway. i heard running footsteps and almost immediately the door was opening; i went out of my room and to the top of the stairs. Jessi, along with the angelic Monika were making their way to the top. i knelt down and hugged them both. too long apart. Angi and Keith weren't far behind, then my mom and dad, calmly waking in the door.
the greetings were amazing and made me feel as if i'd been gone for much, much longer than the nearly 10 weeks it actually has been. i was home, and for the moment, that's all that mattered. i was bombarded with a million questions and, upon recognizing this, Angi told me to pace myself because i had only a week to update them all!
Monika, my nearly three-year-old sister, has been of great concern to me while i'm away. i swear she's grown four inches since i saw her driving away with my parents as they dropped me off at school in the second week of september. i can't believe all that has seemed to happen, her happiness and her challenges. her eyes were bright as she told me all of it!
after putting some things away, my mom found me with a huge hug and an actual “welcome home, Kassandra.” it was greatly surreal how at the same time i was the little girl of which i strive to keep a hold, but also in a strange sense, a peer to her. an adult.
my dad came up from the basement and caught my eye. with a partial smile, he asked if everything was going well. i nodded in the affirmative. then, characteristically, he asked how my car was doing. he's never had any issue of tell me how he feels, but it was as if he needed to cover these initial topics with his first-born daughter.
“the car can wait a while,” i told him while going to put my arms around him. “i love you daddy. i missed you.” he whispered that he missed me too and, all of the sudden, i was daddy's little girl in his arms which is where i've always felt the most secure.
i was informed that Brandon, my younger brother by a year, was at a search and rescue function and would be home for dinner. it was more hugs, tears, smiles and laughs when he walked in the door.
they've had so many questions for me, but I’ve got just as many for each of them. i'm glad we have a full week to get reacquainted. a week. i truly can't believe it's so long – and so short.
it should also give my dad time to give my jetta a complete examination!
~ Kassandra
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
changes abound
it's been just over a week since my last blog, but life has drastically and expectedly changed for me, in more ways than one.
saying goodbye
on monday the 13th, early in the morning, i said an emotional heart-felt goodbye to my younger brothers and sisters (sans Monika). it's hard to go into, and relate how emotional this was to me. in particular, i did not want to let go of Jessica or Angela during our hugs. finally, i cleared my eyes got into my car, smiled at Monika in the back seat, and followed my parents as we headed toward san francisco.
we made pit stops in roseburg, medford and redding before making it to my brother's apartment by about 6:30 at night. i got to drive Monika down during the first and last legs of the trip, and we had a really great time talking and singing along with some cd's. i also got a chance to talk with my dad (second leg) and mom (third leg). that was a really special time for me. it meant so much to have that one-on-one time with each of them.
we stayed the night at Brian’s, though i couldn't sleep. my mom got up in the middle of the night to find me sipping coco on the deck. i was too excited with anticipation and too deep in thought of the future. my mom joined me for a couple hours. but we didn't speak of what will be. we spoke of what has been. we exchanged stories. stories about a little brown-haired girl asking her mother a million questions about everything; stories about a wide-eyed little girl trying to keep up with her two older brothers; stories about a little girl with a smile so bright as she cuddled next to her father so they could spend time watching sunday football together. it was just what i needed that night. it put a lot into perspective for me. it's just as if, as always, she knew just what i needed.
we arrived just before noon. i checked into my dorm and picked up my parking permit. my dormmate, Julie, arrived about 45 minutes after we did.. it was wonderful to me, like a beginning. on the other hand, it was extremely difficult to say goodbye to my parents and youngest sister. i watched as they drove away and turned the corner, almost expecting them to turn around and realize they forgot to take me with them. of course, i knew better. i really don't know exactly when i stopped waving goodbye.
arriving and beginning school
Julie and i spend most of that day unpacking and getting settling in. we have everything for which we can hope! small fridge (small, mind you, not mini!), microwave, hotplate, tv and … well, anything else two girls might need (except maybe our own bathrooms!). we've connected amazingly well. neither of us seems to worry about the little things.
we toured the campus together, then took an official tour of the campus with our dorm's resident assistants. it was very informative. we also spent part of the day at the beach on saturday (i'm so glad i have my car with me!). we also got tickets to stanford's game against wake forest saturday night. the latter was made even more fun when we clobbered wake! go cardinal.
classes started on the twentieth and my first impression is one of optimism. from what i can tell of the first two days, this atmosphere is catered to my style of learning; reading, listening, reviewing and testing. i can sooo totally do this!
a little something extra
i don't know if extra is the correct word, but i'm going to use it anyway! so thursday we were walking around and decided to sit down outside the quad. Julie kept nudging me and i'm like, “what?” she kept smiling and finally, on the other side of me, i heard this voice. it was asking if we were getting settled, if we were finding out where things were around campus, and if we had our tickets for the football game two days hence.
i turned and smiled. the voice was extremely cute! we started talking and i told him – Adam – that we hadn't planned on going to this particular game because it was only non-conference and didn't count toward our goal to win the pac-10 title, even though we still had to go through oregon, oregon state, usc and arizona to get there.
Adam’s eyes got wide.
he said after hearing my response, he just had to ask me to the game. i said sure (did i mention he's cute?!). he and his friend would take me and Julie to the game under one condition. i had to have lunch with him on friday so we could get to know each other.
we spent most of friday afternoon together and all of us met up for a bagel and went to the the game saturday evening. i had specifically planned not to become involved with someone the first half of this year.
i'm seeing him again thursday night. maybe i'll let you know how it goes!
~ Kassandra
saying goodbye
on monday the 13th, early in the morning, i said an emotional heart-felt goodbye to my younger brothers and sisters (sans Monika). it's hard to go into, and relate how emotional this was to me. in particular, i did not want to let go of Jessica or Angela during our hugs. finally, i cleared my eyes got into my car, smiled at Monika in the back seat, and followed my parents as we headed toward san francisco.
we made pit stops in roseburg, medford and redding before making it to my brother's apartment by about 6:30 at night. i got to drive Monika down during the first and last legs of the trip, and we had a really great time talking and singing along with some cd's. i also got a chance to talk with my dad (second leg) and mom (third leg). that was a really special time for me. it meant so much to have that one-on-one time with each of them.
we stayed the night at Brian’s, though i couldn't sleep. my mom got up in the middle of the night to find me sipping coco on the deck. i was too excited with anticipation and too deep in thought of the future. my mom joined me for a couple hours. but we didn't speak of what will be. we spoke of what has been. we exchanged stories. stories about a little brown-haired girl asking her mother a million questions about everything; stories about a wide-eyed little girl trying to keep up with her two older brothers; stories about a little girl with a smile so bright as she cuddled next to her father so they could spend time watching sunday football together. it was just what i needed that night. it put a lot into perspective for me. it's just as if, as always, she knew just what i needed.
we arrived just before noon. i checked into my dorm and picked up my parking permit. my dormmate, Julie, arrived about 45 minutes after we did.. it was wonderful to me, like a beginning. on the other hand, it was extremely difficult to say goodbye to my parents and youngest sister. i watched as they drove away and turned the corner, almost expecting them to turn around and realize they forgot to take me with them. of course, i knew better. i really don't know exactly when i stopped waving goodbye.
arriving and beginning school
Julie and i spend most of that day unpacking and getting settling in. we have everything for which we can hope! small fridge (small, mind you, not mini!), microwave, hotplate, tv and … well, anything else two girls might need (except maybe our own bathrooms!). we've connected amazingly well. neither of us seems to worry about the little things.
we toured the campus together, then took an official tour of the campus with our dorm's resident assistants. it was very informative. we also spent part of the day at the beach on saturday (i'm so glad i have my car with me!). we also got tickets to stanford's game against wake forest saturday night. the latter was made even more fun when we clobbered wake! go cardinal.
classes started on the twentieth and my first impression is one of optimism. from what i can tell of the first two days, this atmosphere is catered to my style of learning; reading, listening, reviewing and testing. i can sooo totally do this!
a little something extra
i don't know if extra is the correct word, but i'm going to use it anyway! so thursday we were walking around and decided to sit down outside the quad. Julie kept nudging me and i'm like, “what?” she kept smiling and finally, on the other side of me, i heard this voice. it was asking if we were getting settled, if we were finding out where things were around campus, and if we had our tickets for the football game two days hence.
i turned and smiled. the voice was extremely cute! we started talking and i told him – Adam – that we hadn't planned on going to this particular game because it was only non-conference and didn't count toward our goal to win the pac-10 title, even though we still had to go through oregon, oregon state, usc and arizona to get there.
Adam’s eyes got wide.
he said after hearing my response, he just had to ask me to the game. i said sure (did i mention he's cute?!). he and his friend would take me and Julie to the game under one condition. i had to have lunch with him on friday so we could get to know each other.
we spent most of friday afternoon together and all of us met up for a bagel and went to the the game saturday evening. i had specifically planned not to become involved with someone the first half of this year.
i'm seeing him again thursday night. maybe i'll let you know how it goes!
~ Kassandra
Sunday, September 12, 2010
emotional last day at home
emotional. excitement. fear. trepidation. optimism. love. sadness. pride. thankfulness. curiosity.
on this, my last full day at home before heading off to college tomorrow morning, i can't imagine an emotion which is not touching my heart.
i've been talking about my feelings of being away at college in the past several blog entries, and now the time has come.
so, as my family often does to commemorate events such as this, threw a party. it was just an intimate little thing with about 20 close family friends.
today was the last time until probably thanksgiving or christmas i was able see my best friend, Shawna. she has been amazing friend to me for the past four years. in high school, she was the rudder who straightened my ship. she says the same of me. there are times i am sure i owe my sanity (for better or for worse!) to her. she's about to head off to her own journey; hers taking her to the university of washington in seattle.
i've been told that as high school friends move on, they will lose contact. i believe that we will adopt other priorities in school and life, but i am as committed as i can be to stay in touch with Shawna. i have labeled her as my kindred spirit; and you just can't lose contact with that.
it meant so much to me to see these people who came to share my last day in oregon (at least for the school year). i loved seeing Simon from across the street; our very close family friends col. and mrs. Chapman; McKenzie, Thomas, Rick, Tami, Heidi and Irene from high school.
it was certainly wonderful and fitting that all of them were there, people who have been such a very important part of my life. I feel honored to be included in theirs as well.
i've spent the past month attempting to relate to my family how much they mean to me. i think i've made my points clear. my sister, Jessica, told me the other day: "yes, Kasey, i know, i know and i know!" she then smiled and hugged me so that she could whisper in my ear that she can't even imagine what it will be like with me here.
that kind of thing has comforted me, and all of them have really taken that sort of moment to convey their feelings.
i've left messages for each of them which i will e-mail to them either monday night or tuesday morning. i only hope they understand the words which i try to convey. (i've left the recorded message to my parents with Brandon, who will give it to them upon their return tuesday night).
so, i'm off in the morning. one more goodbye as Brandon, Jessica, Angela and Keith take time away from getting ready for school, and we're on the road. my parents will start the trip in their suv, while i have the privilege and honor to be accompanied by my youngest sister, Monika, as i drive my jetta. we're headed to san francisco where we'll all stay with my brother and his fiance monday night, then move me into the dorm on tuesday.
i fear that watching mom, dad and Monika drive away will be the saddest sight i've ever experienced.
but then again, that's just one emotion which is rushing through my heart.
~ Kassandra
Sunday, September 5, 2010
lest we not forget Nikki
in my last entry i talked about missing my family. however, in all that, i forgot someone very, very special to me.
as a 14-year-old pretty much beginning adolescence, my parents presented me with a gift. this was to be my pet and mine alone, the cutest little kitten. black with white patches and the most gorgeous eyes, she won my heart the instant i saw her.
i named her Nikki, somewhat after a friend and because i thought it sounded cool for a cat.
i cannot begin to relate the tough days or activity filled nights when i would come home to relax and before i knew it, Nikki would be laying next to me purring steadily. it's like she knew her role in the family and in my life. everyone has a job and comforting me during rough times is hers. and if i didn't know better, i'd say she is all smiles.
so a question has emerged regarding Nikki. who shall take care of my baby while i'm at school living in the dorm?
this was something i've pondered for quite some time. i've run through them one by one. obviously it's going to be a family member, but whom?
my parents. this wouldn't seem fair to burden them with one more thing about which to worry. although they would do it if asked, i dismissed this idea quite quickly.
Brandon. he'd be great. however, he's a senior and doesn't need one more thing on his plate. additionally, he's already the primary care provider for our family dog, Jasper, so i don't think it would be right to ask him to take care of Nikki as well.
Jessica. she'd also be great, but she's heavily involved in her high school band and other music ventures. some of these take her away from home for a night or sometimes a weekend, so it might not be the best job for her.
Monika. this could be an interesting choice, and she loves Nikki, but i think my youngest sister is probably still a little young for this kind of responsibility.
Keith. my youngest brother is nearly 13 and wouldn't do a bad job of taking care of my baby. he's busy with music and with sports and i don't want Nikki to fall through the cracks of his schedule. i've decided to ask him to act as a back-up to the person i've asked to look after her.
which leads me to ... Angela. i absolutely love this girl and it makes sense that she look after Nikki. Angi is just about my age when my parents gave Nikki to me. most of Angi's activities involve writing and reading which she does at home anyway. yes, Angela is the perfect choice.
i know Nikki is in good hands with her.
~ Kassandra
as a 14-year-old pretty much beginning adolescence, my parents presented me with a gift. this was to be my pet and mine alone, the cutest little kitten. black with white patches and the most gorgeous eyes, she won my heart the instant i saw her.
i named her Nikki, somewhat after a friend and because i thought it sounded cool for a cat.
i cannot begin to relate the tough days or activity filled nights when i would come home to relax and before i knew it, Nikki would be laying next to me purring steadily. it's like she knew her role in the family and in my life. everyone has a job and comforting me during rough times is hers. and if i didn't know better, i'd say she is all smiles.
so a question has emerged regarding Nikki. who shall take care of my baby while i'm at school living in the dorm?
this was something i've pondered for quite some time. i've run through them one by one. obviously it's going to be a family member, but whom?
my parents. this wouldn't seem fair to burden them with one more thing about which to worry. although they would do it if asked, i dismissed this idea quite quickly.
Brandon. he'd be great. however, he's a senior and doesn't need one more thing on his plate. additionally, he's already the primary care provider for our family dog, Jasper, so i don't think it would be right to ask him to take care of Nikki as well.
Jessica. she'd also be great, but she's heavily involved in her high school band and other music ventures. some of these take her away from home for a night or sometimes a weekend, so it might not be the best job for her.
Monika. this could be an interesting choice, and she loves Nikki, but i think my youngest sister is probably still a little young for this kind of responsibility.
Keith. my youngest brother is nearly 13 and wouldn't do a bad job of taking care of my baby. he's busy with music and with sports and i don't want Nikki to fall through the cracks of his schedule. i've decided to ask him to act as a back-up to the person i've asked to look after her.
which leads me to ... Angela. i absolutely love this girl and it makes sense that she look after Nikki. Angi is just about my age when my parents gave Nikki to me. most of Angi's activities involve writing and reading which she does at home anyway. yes, Angela is the perfect choice.
i know Nikki is in good hands with her.
~ Kassandra
Sunday, July 25, 2010
mid-summer blues
new hair
actually, i'm not blue at all. truth be told, i'm blonde! my natural hair color is dark brown, but since this is the summer between high school and college, i decided to have a little fun with it. rather than just dye the whole thing, i put blonde highlights in there.
the truth is, i don't really care for the look. it was nice to try, but i think it'll be back to dark brown very soon. i guess i'm just a brunette at heart!
the grandparents
my visit to the grandparents is nearly here. i leave july 29 for my mother's parents in albequerque, new mexico, where i'll also see some cousins i haven't seen in quite a while. i'm told some surprises planned for the visit.
the southwest has always interested me; i've always felt that mainstream education usually glosses over the mystery and beauty of the area.
after six days, i hop on a plane in albequerque and head to my father's parents just outside of lincoln, nebraska. i bet that'll be a huge culture shock!
these grandparents are not farmers, but they rely heavily on the agriculture industry. this is the heartland of america and i am honored to be hanging out there for another 6 days before returning home to portland.
i look at this as a very special time, as my grandparents are footing the bill for this trip -- my high school graduation present. i'm honored that i am able to spend this time with each of them.
trail blazers
with the exception of a few trade rumors and some fans' player wish lists, this is a very slow time of year for the portland trail blazers. i remain skeptical about many things involving the moves they have made.
however, this is my team and i will not stop supporting them and pulling for them to win. that's called loyalty, and that's what i'm all about.
not working
other than my travel, i feel like i'm not doing much this summer. i'm not working steadily for my dad like i have the past two summers (my 16-year-old sister, Jessica has that honor this year).
my mother is still settling into the new business and it's taking up a lot of her time. therefore, my responsibilities at home, especially with Monika, have increased. i have no problem with this since i am beginning to fear leaving my family behind when i go off to college. of course, that's a whole other blog.
Monika is truly the light of my heart. i love her immensely. i shall miss her more than i can fathom.
more updates to come!
~ Kassandra
actually, i'm not blue at all. truth be told, i'm blonde! my natural hair color is dark brown, but since this is the summer between high school and college, i decided to have a little fun with it. rather than just dye the whole thing, i put blonde highlights in there.
the truth is, i don't really care for the look. it was nice to try, but i think it'll be back to dark brown very soon. i guess i'm just a brunette at heart!
the grandparents
my visit to the grandparents is nearly here. i leave july 29 for my mother's parents in albequerque, new mexico, where i'll also see some cousins i haven't seen in quite a while. i'm told some surprises planned for the visit.
the southwest has always interested me; i've always felt that mainstream education usually glosses over the mystery and beauty of the area.
after six days, i hop on a plane in albequerque and head to my father's parents just outside of lincoln, nebraska. i bet that'll be a huge culture shock!
these grandparents are not farmers, but they rely heavily on the agriculture industry. this is the heartland of america and i am honored to be hanging out there for another 6 days before returning home to portland.
i look at this as a very special time, as my grandparents are footing the bill for this trip -- my high school graduation present. i'm honored that i am able to spend this time with each of them.
trail blazers
with the exception of a few trade rumors and some fans' player wish lists, this is a very slow time of year for the portland trail blazers. i remain skeptical about many things involving the moves they have made.
however, this is my team and i will not stop supporting them and pulling for them to win. that's called loyalty, and that's what i'm all about.
not working
other than my travel, i feel like i'm not doing much this summer. i'm not working steadily for my dad like i have the past two summers (my 16-year-old sister, Jessica has that honor this year).
my mother is still settling into the new business and it's taking up a lot of her time. therefore, my responsibilities at home, especially with Monika, have increased. i have no problem with this since i am beginning to fear leaving my family behind when i go off to college. of course, that's a whole other blog.
Monika is truly the light of my heart. i love her immensely. i shall miss her more than i can fathom.
more updates to come!
~ Kassandra
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)